Live Dangerously
by FallenUnderGrace
Summary: Yada yada yada. ive decided to discontinue this story...sorry. but my new story "dont fall for you might get hurt" is now up! yay.
1. More than you can imagine

_**Chapter 1. More than you can imagine. **_

Clare POV

I stood there. Waiting for the heartache to come.

He was torturing me just standing there.

Elijah Goldsworthy, what did I do to deserve this?

"im sorry clare." he finally spoke.

His words cut me like a knife. I just couldnt handle it. I wanted to scream

"why?" my words finally came out.

I waited for his response. Was he really doing this? After everything, after vegas night, after we kissed...he was breaking up with me..

not caring about the answer, I walked away. Maybe adam would be there for me. Or someone anyone. Not alli. She wouldnt understand. Not my parents. Then it hit me. With everyone being like this, I truly have no one.

I felt a tear escape my eye but the harsh cold quickly froze it in its tracks.

I dont need to cry. I need to live.

Live. Dangerously.

Eli's POV There was a reason I did it.

Isnt there? Its all of fitz's fault. He just couldnt leave adam alone. My adam.

Woah. Hold up did I just call adam MINE? well I know hes transgender, ftm, but that doesnt mean I have to have feelings for him. No way.

Its just to weird. Adam is my bestfriend. And clares.

Adams POV

I didnt like clare. I didnt. But with elijah out of the way it would give me a chance...WOAH! No, I couldnt.

I heard some type of crying and went downstairs to see clare crying in drews arms. "um..." was all that could come out of my mouth.

"oh adam! Its horrible. Eli..he..he...broke up with me!" with that she ran into my arms. I wanted to comfort her but how would eli feel about this?

Clares POV

I loved how adam was always there for me. But he seemed distant lately, unaware. I wanted to ask whats wrong but all that had been on my mind was elijah goldsworthy. I still dont see how he could do this to me. I mean I thought I was a good girlfriend. I saved his ass from fitz, thats for sure!

Sometimes I think what it would be like if eli would have just let it go.

But that could be dangerous thinking. I loved how eli had this "badass" reputation. I almost craved it. Then it hit me. What would eli think if he saw me with adam? He would freak. These thoughts of jealousy creeped into my mind and I knew what I had to do. I looked up at adam, my blue eyes looking into his and I kissed him. He didnt expect it. He froze. I knew what was coming. The rejection the part where he would say eli is his best friend and it wouldnt be right. Then, he did the unexpected. He cupped my face and kissed ME. "You have no idea how long ive waited for this." he whispered inbetween kisses. "im guessing a while?" I said. "more that you can imagine." and with that he kissed me again. This time it lasted a lot longer.


	2. What the hell?

Chapter 2. **What the hell?**

Elis POV 

I had to see him. Adam is the only person who could reassure me right now. I drove to his house my blood was pumping. What if he didn't feel the same way? No, no time to worry about that. I reached the familiar driveway. I let out a big breath and did what had to be done. I didn't bother to knock. It was only him and drew, his parents were on some kind of school board business trip in new york. I opened the door to see Adam

on the couch, Clare on top of him.

They were...kissing! No not kissing.

More like trying to swallow each others faces!

I couldn't channel the words. "what the...hell?" I said slowly.

They jumped up, shocked.

"oh..Eli, hello there." Clare said, her tone was nauseating me.

"Eli its..its not what it looks like! I swear!" Adam yelled frantically.

"oh, pish posh Adam. Its _exactly _what it looks like." Clare said. For the first time ever Clare...smirked.

It was just too much for me. Now I couldn't trust either one of them!

"you disgust me." I said and then got in my hearse and drove.

Where I don't know yet.

Clare POV

I couldn't help think it was wrong. How I reacted to Eli. But he had to see what he was missing.

And why was Adam denying it? Yeah Elijah is his best friend, but im his girlfriend and he should respect that.

"what was that Clare! How could you do that to Eli?" he started to scream at me.

I didn't like it.

"Look do you want to date me or not?" I said. He knew an ultimatum was coming.

He nodded his head sheepishly almost too ashamed to speak.

"well I don't want you talking to Elijah anymore." I said. It was almost strange how my plan was working.

"um...OK" he said hanging his head down.

I walked to him slowly and tilted his head up, then I kissed him.

It felt innocent at first but then I almost started to...like it.

Adams POV

why was she doing this to me? She knows I cant resist her baby blues.

And Eli, the look on his face when he saw us. I loved Clare, but she was tearing my friendship apart. She gave me an ultimatum. I agreed to it.

Then before I knew it we were making out...again.

I walked into my room and logged into my facerange account. Eli was online.

Was it too risky to send an I.m?

I did it anyway..

AdamT-145 : Um hey.

Eli-gold49: what do you want adam?

AdamT-145: I want to know why you reacted the way you did!

Eli-gold49: goodbye adam.

I started to type furiously but then I saw that Eli logged off.

I wanted to take back what I did. But at the same time I cant help but have the hots for Clare Edwards. The good girl. The innocent one. She would never try and hurt anyone on purpose. Maybe that's why I loved her.

Clare POV

after leaving Adams I walked back to my place. I tried to convince my self that when I kissed Adam I didn't feel a thing. But I did. I'm not lesbian. Me and Adam cant have a REAL relationship. He has a freaking vagina! Which I am not exactly fond of.

I opened the door just wanting to relax. But I wasn't going to get that. My parents fought a lot but lately...im kind of scared. I don't want them to get a divorce. But I know its coming. And with my behavior it might be only making it worse. Which kind of bothers me. I decided to ignore it and went to the bathroom to brush my hair. I glanced at my self in the mirror.

I didn't feel or look the same.

Then it hit me.

Who the hell am I?


	3. Chasing Echoes

**Chapter 3. _Chasing Echoes_**

Eli's POV

.i was driving in my hearse. My mind was thinking furiously.

I wasn't sure if I was thinking of Adam as girl or boy.

But one thing was for sure. I wanted him.

Shit. Its settled. I think of him as a dude.

For a second I wasn't sure where I was going but then I saw a familiar place come into view.

This is where me and Julia got into it. Our fight. Which just so happened to be the night she died.

Why was Clare doing this to me?

She couldn't know about my crush on Adam. NO ONE could.

I turned around and went to clare's house.

I knew what had to be done.

Clare's POV

I was drifting to sleep when I heard a slight tap on my window.

"Clare!" it was Elijah.

I got up and opened the window. He stumbled in looking just oh so perfect. His hair was messy, his eyes were greener than ever, and his lips..oh his lips..it took all of my power not to just kiss him right now.

"Clare. I know what your doing." He said.

I smirked. "Smart boy." I said.

Before I knew it his hand cupped my face and he kissed me.

It wasn't like any other kisses me and him have shared. This one was urgent.

I slipped my hand around his neck and gave in.

he pulled away. "i love you." he whispered.

" I ...i cant do this!" I screamed. It didn't feel right anymore.

I didn't want to admit it...but I was in love with Adam!

I heard footsteps. My dad! Crap.

"Leave!" I said.

He jumped out of my window just as my father opened the door.

"Who was in here?" he screamed.

"What do you care?" I wasn't afraid to say it. He just looked at me.

Then he closed the door. My father didn't care. Neither did my mom. Maybe

they lost faith in me after Darcy. Damn you Darcy.

Adams POV

it was Monday. Great.

I had to face Eli. And Clare. I couldn't wait to see her blue eyes. And I definitely couldn't wait to kiss her soft lips.

I got up and did my regular routine. Drew was still depressed, after what happened with alli. I wouldn't blame her though. Drew did accept oral sex from a skank.

I smiled to myself, oh the situations I get into. Mom drove us to school. I got out to see Clare waiting for me by the door.

"why hello gorgeous." I said and gave her a peck. She started to blush. I loved her blush.

She definitely pulled it off. I was about to go in for another "innocent" kiss, when i

saw Eli staring at us. I know I should talk to him. So I told clear ill see her at lunch and marched my way to him. "look..im sorry. I'm not supposed to talk to you, but man I didn't mean to steal her." I said defeated by his lurking green eyes.

He didn't say anything for a moment. Than the unexpected happened. He leaned in grabbed my shirt and...kissed me. It felt great too. So I didn't stop him. His tongue found my lips begging for entrance. Thats when I knew I had to stop him.

" Adam! What the hell?" I heard Clare scream.

oh...crap.

**OH! cliffhanger,. Sorry guys! Chapter 4 is gonna be really long and will be up soon! Review please!**


	4. Love Hurts

**Chapter 4. _Love Hurts._**

**Clare's POV**

I was in total shock.

I mean shit. Adam. Eli. Kissing.

Adam looked at me, his face pleading. I marched up to Eli and slapped him. I slapped him good. He had no right to try and make me jealous...especially with my boyfriend!

There was a slight red mark on eli's cheek as he recovered.

"Clare. I'm so sorry. But, I'm in love with Adam." he spoke so sure of his words.

I wanted to burst into tears but I couldn't let him have the satisfaction.

I didn't even want to know what Adam was thinking. Did he love Eli too? Adam was mine and I'll be damned if little emo boy takes Adam away from me. I wanted to scream after I realized what I just thought. Who was I? " Eli, I'm sorry but Adam is mine." I said. Usually I would just apologize that he couldn't be with him but that was the old Clare.

Its time for new Clare to step in.

**Adam's POV**

after what happened at school, me and Eli decided to pretend like nothing ever happened.

It was Monday, but I was going to stay at his place because drew had K.C over. The drive was painfully slow, and neither of us said a word

we pulled up to his house and went inside. "well, whats on the agenda today my good

sir?" Eli asked me, with that hot smirk of his.

HOLD THE FUDGE UP.

What did I just think? Eli. Smirk. Hot. Same sentence. Coming from my mind?

No way I had feelings for Elijah goldsworthy. Then I realized Eli was still waiting for an answer. "um. Movie?" I said. He shrugged and put in "The hangover" wow so original I thought. We sat on the couch and I almost felt like snuggling up to him. But I didn't. First of all because I love Clare. Second of all because...oh I don't even know...

but I do know that I CANT love Eli. Maybe it was just..lust?

And Clare told me not to talk to him so why the hell am I even here?

" Adam..about today, I do love you. And I cant let it go. I know I said I would forget about it but I cant." he said. Why wouldn't he look at me?

I wanted to say that I love him too. I wanted to kiss him..hold him...touch him...

unholy thoughts, I tried to remind myself. But every time I even think like that I see Clare.

I see Clare crying. And that hurts way too much.

But Clare didn't have to know...about tonight. Just tonight.

I leaned In to Eli and kissed him. He smirked against my lips as I deepened the kiss.

Before I knew it, it was a full blown make-out session. Clare,I'm so sorry.

**Eli's POV**

I didn't expect Adam to kiss me. But I cant say I didn't like it.

We were making out, and none of us said a word. I knew he was going to stay with Clare but as long as I had tonight I don't care. It was Adam, after all who kissed ME.

I was simply the victim...not for long though...

I took Adam's hand and led him up to my room.

"are you sure about this?" I asked him.

"yes. I want you to have me before anyone else does." Adam said with a faint smile.

With that we went inside and I locked the door. Just..tonight.

**Clares POV**

I stomped up the stairs, went into the bathroom, and grabbed an unfamiliar object. Eyeliner. Yes, I've worn it before but not often. And this time I'm pretty sure I caked it on. I grabbed the biggest hoops I could find. What is happening to me? I went into Darcy's old room to find something to wear. I was going to the ravine. I found the shortest miniskirt I've probably ever seen, and wasn't surprised it was Darcy's. I slipped on her old red tube top, and I was out the door. As I got to the ravine, I smelled smoke. Lots of it.

Then I saw someone. Drew?

I didn't expect to see him here. He met my eyes, and had a VERY shocked look on his face. He came up to me. " Clare what the hell are you doing here? And why are you

dressed like this?" he said, covering me up with his jacket.

" Oh relax. I just want some fun." he was definitely starting to piss me off.

That moment I realized if drew cant accept me like this, who would? I HAD to make drew like the new me. I don't know why but I had to.

So I pulled him closer to me and kissed him.

He was shocked but didn't pull away.

My hand slowly trailed down his shirt to his belt buckle.

He didn't say anything. We both knew what was coming.

I took his hand and led him into the van.

Then with a slam, I shut the door.


End file.
